I didn’t have a plan when I started out. I’m still mostly flying by the seat of my pants. It makes for an exciting ride and a cold bum.
But there are a few things that I have learned from the first several months of Domestic Monday’s that everyone having friends over for dinner will need to know.
1. Make sure you have all the ingredients before you start cooking.
It sounds obvious, but you’d be surprised how many things can slip through the cracks. There’s nothing quite as annoying as having to drop everything and run to the store when you’re already feeling behind. Not that you’ll feel behind, but you probably will (see point 3).
2. Plan for everything to take longer than you expect.
Especially as you’re getting used to your own style of cooking/hosting, it will be difficult to judge how much time it will take to go shopping, to prep the ingredients, to prepare the dish, and to prepare the house.
3. Make friends with the clock.
Time is there to help you plan. No matter how well you plan, you will feel behind at some point. I’ve just come to grips with this fact. I will not always feel prepared and sometimes I’ll feel the death-clutch of anxiety as 6:30 ticks closer and the potatoes just won’t cook. When that happens, just let it go. The potatoes will cook, your friends will still love you, and worst-case scenario you’ll have a funny story to tell when you’re over it in 3 years. If you truly believe your friendships or your reputation is on the line consider not inviting those people again.
4. Remember to prep the house.
In my focus to get edible food prepared by the time my friends show up I have CONSISTENTLY forgotten to prep the house as well. This just leads to a mad dash at the last minute and usually means I don’t have time to prepare myself for the dinner. Your house is your co-host. It sets the mood, can add to the presentation of the food itself, and will determine how stressed you personally feel by the time the guests arrive. Clean the house, if only for your own mental stability. The great thing is, it can be done the day before!
5. Remember to prep yourself.
I cannot tell you how many times I have spent the whole day battling pots and pans over the stove, getting covered in run-away ingredients and sweating from the heat and exertion, only to remember that I must look as grimy as I feel just as I hear a knock on the door. Yes, you want your food to look and taste amazing. But there’s nothing very magical about serving it to your friends when you look like Cinderella before her fairy godmother got to her.
6. Pick your project.
Nobody has limitless time, money, or patience. Decide what main course/salad/dessert you want to prepare from scratch and then buy the rest of it already prepared if you know you won’t have the resources to prepare everything by yourself. Is there a dessert you really want to try making? Maybe consider buying the meat already prepared for the main course so you can focus on the thing you want to learn.
7. Let your friends help out.
My motto is: if they offer I’ll accept. If one or more of my guests offers to bring something, I will take advantage of that by asking them to bring a side, the drinks, or a salad. It’s cheap for them and they get to be part of the hosting process, and it saves me time and money that I can now spend on the main elements of the dinner. Believe it or not, I had to get over my pride the first time someone offered to help. I almost said no for no good reason.
8. Keep your focus.
Sometimes you have to choose between perfection and joy. Whenever I find myself getting annoyed over little things going wrong, I know my focus has shifted from the group to myself. Yes, I am hosting the dinner, but it’s not a party without my friends. Dinner is always about US, not ME.
9. Clean up as you go.
Nothing like having a wonderful dinner with your favorite people, talking long into the night, and walking into a kitchen full of dirty dishes when all you can think about is going to bed. The only thing that could make it worse is the feeling of waking up the next morning in a rush to get to work, with those same dishes forming a barricade between your coffee pot and the water faucet. There will always be residual dishes after the guests are gone. But cleaning as you are cooking will save your future self a lot of frustration.
10. Try new things!
The point of this is to grow as people and as friends. Don’t be afraid to try that new recipe that you’ve never made before, or invite that couple who just moved into the neighborhood. You can’t fail. Even the gesture of inviting someone into your home is enough to get an amazing friendship off the ground and make somebody’s day.
I’m so excited for you! Hosting and cooking are amazing skills to have! Not to mention all the friends you get to meet along the way.
Making friends and food,
Keni
